Your Boyfriend Broke Up with You and It Hurts
On Valentine's Day last year one of my client's boyfriend professed his love for her. A week later he ended the relationship abruptly. It was sudden and it hurt.
Without going into the details of her particular situation, she felt ashamed. But, as I reflect back I realize that she got over the experience fairly quick. She healed from it, learned a lot and was able to move on. "How?" you ask?
Well, that is what this article is all about - what she did to take care of herself. I decided to sit down and write this article to share her process with as many women as possible.
The first thing she did was to talk about it with someone who she trusted and who she knew cares about her. She kept talking. She has a solid network of family and friends who she goes to for support when she needs it. So, she was able to pick up the phone and call someone to talk to whenever she needed to do so.
If you or someone you know recently experienced a break up, make sure you're talking it out with people you trust. It's very therapeutic. If you do not have enough people to listen to you and support you, then go to a professional therapist. It's critical for your emotional well being that you process what you've just gone through. Doing so will also enable you to truly move on and experience love again in the future.
Second, she cried a lot. Whenever she felt the tears coming up she went to a safe place and cried. At work, she went to one of the ladies rooms that is a single bathroom so that she had privacy. She also went for a walk so she could cry. She even sat in her car and had a good sob.
Avoid holding in your feelings and thinking you have to be "strong." You don't. You're human and someone just hurt you so allow yourself to be human and express your feelings.
Third, she did not call her ex-boyfriend. If your boyfriend just broke up with you I strongly recommend that you do not call him either. Sit on your hands if you have to in order to keep from calling him. Ask one of your friends or someone in your family if you can call them instead whenever you feel the urge to call you ex.
Calling him is not going to make you feel better. It's actually going to make you feel worse. He just ended the relationship with you. He's the last person for you to go to for support.
Here is another point about calling your ex: If your situation is such that you think he may come around, it's in your best interest to let him do so on his own. You'll feel far more secure in his choice to come back compared to you trying to get him to come back. But, if you haven't heard from him in eight weeks, do yourself a favor and move on, no matter how hard it might be for you to do so.
The forth thing that she did to heal from her break up was to go out. The first week after her boyfriend ended the relationship with her she went out with a group of friends, to dinner with a girlfriend, and to a musical with another girlfriend. She also helped one of her girlfriends shop for furniture.
Something else happened within a week: She had a day during which she did not cry. Now, she did shed a few tears now and then for several weeks after the break-up. But, when she had a whole day without crying she realized that by doing the things I described above she was taking pretty good care of herself. She was healing from the breakup.
About the Author:
Kal is over 40, single and a mother of 3 children. She's a seasoned professional and published author. Kal resides in San Diego with her children where she works full time. You can read about Kal's dating experiences and contact her via her blog: datingbyattraction.blogspot.com
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